a peaceful summer

You can tell we're into the full swing of summer when I'm having a hard time remembering to write. However, this week started Johnny's camp that will see him through until school starts, so I am beginning to find myself with a little more free time on my hands. In addition to his camp, I've decided to take a few weeks off of school, so even the kid-less time that I usually use for homework has been freed up. So far I've made spectacular use of it all and caught a few naps here and there. 

We've had a few great moments and a few bumps along the way over the past few weeks, but overall I think the little guy is doing pretty well. The difference between last summer and this summer is like night and day. Where last year I couldn't take him out of the house without an additional set of hands, I've not only taken him on that trip to Maryland, but generally found a way to get him out of the house every day that he is with me. Parks, shopping, play dates, church... we've kept busy. The biggest downside to everything is that after almost a year with her, we will be losing his TSS Ashleigh. I couldn't have a higher respect for that girl, and she has been an amazing addition to our lives. She has been super helpful and sweet as can be, helping us through some tough times. Next week is his last session with her. After saying goodbye to Autumn, it feels a little hard to turn around and have Ashleigh leave as well. (Although to be fair, I saw Autumn yesterday and she plans on hanging out with us again soon!) 

In the world of accomplishments, Johnny has made some other big steps. Where the past few years have seen him too afraid to get on his Pappy Chris' tractor, Johnny has decided that this year the noise and height are worth it. He held his hands over his ears for the first 10 minutes or so, but settled into it and decided that he never wanted to get down. He now wants me to take him over every weekend so that he can help Chris mow the grass. Johnny also has been more open to some new foods as of late, and not only did I convince him to try venison the other day, he downed it! We drove home from Grammy's with some more for me to cook up. He also ate a ton of ham the other day, and for those who know the kiddo, getting him to eat meat of any kind has always been a huge challenge, so I'm impressed and thrilled! He even ate the chicken alfredo I made for dinner a few nights ago, which I've never seen him so much as touch before. 

June has kicked off our summer well, and I'm glad that Johnny is enjoying life again. I was seriously worried for a while there, but it seems like he is adjusting to his new life and is maybe even starting to thrive again. He did talk to me this morning about the fact that he wishes his daddy and I were still married, but he was completely relaxed during our conversation and I simply explained that sometimes adults don't stay married and that his daddy and I will always love him just as much as we did before, and his daddy and I are friends. It isn't as though he hasn't heard this all from me a million times over the past few months, but I felt like this morning he really was listening to me when I said it. He gave me a big hug, then looked me in the eyes and said, "You're happy now, mom. I like it when you are happy. It's all okay, because you're always my family and I'll never not be your son." 

He's going to be just fine. This is what was best for all of us, including him.

the beach

Well, we went to the beach to visit my friends Joel and Sara. I have to say that for a 5 day trip with just me and the little man, things went about as well as I could have possibly hoped. He was in a pretty good mood for most of it, listened to me really well, and got along with his new friend Isaac (the oldest son of the family we were visiting, who is 4) swimmingly. I was even impressed with how well he handled the 1 year old twins, Jack and Ben. Johnny can be somewhat unsure of how to handle babies, but he did great.

This was the first time Johnny had ever seen the ocean. While the entire trip went amazingly well, I was the most impressed with how my kid handled the ocean. Within 5 minutes, he had been knocked on his butt and swallowed up momentarily by a wave, (I was right there and pulled him back up) and I seriously expected him to start to cry and refuse to go anywhere near the water for the rest of the day. He doesn't handle water touching his face at all, and to be knocked over and pushed under briefly was something I was sure would send him into a panic. However, he simply stood back up and sputtered for a moment, looked at me, and said "woah". That was it... just "woah" and then back to playing. He never went quite as deep again as he had been in that moment, (about 6 inches of water) but he proceeded to play with Isaac and chase the waves up and down the beach for several hours more. Joel and I literally had to coax the shivering boys out of the water.

The trip was good for me as well, in a lot of ways. While I enjoyed the beach immensely, more than anything I needed the time spent with such great friends. They're the kind of people you meet early on in life and connect with, and no matter how much time has passed or the distance that has physically grown between where you live, you are able to pick back up without blinking. Joel and Sara are two of a small handful of people who I truly feel relaxed around. Staying up an entire night with Joel and talking over the changes in life we have both experienced in the 7 years since we last saw one another, and spending the days with Sara sharing the good, the bad, and the ugly side of being a stay at home mom were priceless experiences for me. Looking back, it is amazing how little time we actually spent together when we first became friends. It is kind of insane that such a bond has lasted over the years, and I'm thankful to have them as a part of my life, no matter how far apart we may be. I'll have to admit: it was somewhat entertaining and almost a relief to be with friends who, when I put my foot in my mouth or said something completely off the wall, just laughed and said "you're still Karie" with a smile. Not a whole lot of people in my life react to me that way, outside of my family. It is good to have friends who accept me, quirks and all.

Anyway, the drive home felt longer than the drive down and I was relieved to find that my ex's parents were willing to take Johnny for the evening, because it turned out that he had believed he was going to see his dad that night, (who was working until 10, so that wasn't the plan) and he had begun to have a meltdown by the time we made it the whole way home. He was able to see his dad, even for just a few minutes, before falling asleep that night. I feel bad because I know that this whole split custody thing is still really confusing for Johnny, and at least for the remainder of the summer, it is a little strange while we work around Steve's schedule. I think that when the fall does come, we are going to have a hard time adjusting him to the set week/weekend schedule. I may see if his dad is willing to start that a week or two before school begins, just so that he isn't dealing with so many changes at one time. We'll have to wait and see.