So this week has been... interesting. Recovery is going slower than the doctors expected, and having a 4-year-old at home who can't come within a 3 foot radius of me isn't any easier than it sounds. GG took him off my hands the first day I was back, and then gave him to Grandma and Aunt Lizzie that evening until Steve finished work. However, the next day was rough.
I had Johnny at home with me and while I had a steady flow of helpers in the house, (never left alone with him for fear of something happening to either one of us that I wouldn't be able to handle) it was a very long day. I woke up at around 6am and didn't get to sleep again at all until 2am. Between the inability to sleep from the constant parade of people in my house and the second trip to the ER around 6pm, there was just no rest. My body was mad at me. I had honestly wanted to skip another stint at the hospital, but when I called to ask about upping my pain meds for just a day or two, I was asked a barrage of questions that I apparently failed to answer in the desired way. I was ordered back to have an ultrasound, CT scan, blood work, and the like. By around 1:30 in the morning, they had finally decided that I was just healing very slowly and maybe they should up my pain meds... to the exact dose I had suggested several hours previously from the comfort of my own bed. While I appreciate the fact that they were trying to be thorough and just wanted to help, I was exhausted, grumpy, and in a lot of pain.
Luckily that evening Christy arrived to help me for the weekend. She headed straight to the hospital to meet me, and when it looked like we were going to be there late, she told Steve she could take care of me and we let the poor man go home to sleep before his next day of work. Dotty had taken Johnny overnight for us, so we didn't have to worry about him for the evening.
The following day (we are now at Saturday) was good. I was still in a good bit of pain, but having Christy there meant I could sleep whenever my body wanted me to and I never had to worry about Johnny. She took me out to dinner at my favorite restaurant for the only food that had sounded even remotely appetizing since the surgery. For the first time in almost a week, I ate. I mean, I really ate. So good! Anyway, we went to Target (me in the motorized scooter) and bought me two flowy dresses to wear while my abdomen heals, and grabbed some much-needed groceries. By the time we returned home I was ready to crash, not to mention dealing with even more elevated pain, but it was all worth it. Besides, it was Johnny's bed time!
Well... Christy has now officially seen (and been point-man for) one of Johnny's more intense tantrums. Throwing toys, hitting, trying to bite, kicking, forcing her to drag him back into his room repeatedly, (which is hard!) and screaming that could wake the dead. About an hour or so into the tantrum, we finally had him in his room with the door held shut until he calmed enough to lay down. We walked away (should I say, Christy walked away... I'd been in an armchair in the living room just trying to duck at thrown objects and use my voice as a form of authority) and left him to his own. A while later, I could hear that Johnny had finally calmed to a slow and quiet cry, so I took his blankets and security toy back into his room for him. I knew he wouldn't sleep overnight without them, but I wasn't going to give them back until it was unrelated to the tantrum. When I got over to the side of the room where he was, traversing past every single object he owned all strewn about the floor, I found a little boy so covered in sweat and tears that he was literally soaked. He was in just his diaper, and even his hair was dripping wet! -- Now, we took out the air conditioners last weekend, which proved to be poor judgment on my part, but it wasn't hot enough to produce that level of sweat!!! Poor little dude! If only he was able to calm himself before getting like that! I mopped him up and had him get up into his bed and rubbed his back while trying to soothe him. He got quiet and both Christy and I gave him our love before shutting the door for him to sleep. We didn't hear from him again.
Talk about one of those heart-wrenching moments as a mother! He was just such a pathetic little thing that all I wanted to do was cuddle with him. I wish I could have! It was all over-- it would have been appropriate if only I could physically handle it. And it is really hard in the middle of his tantrums when I know he is just escalating at the consequences of his own actions (like losing a toy because he threw it) to not just grab him in a big bear hug and rock until he calms. But as a mom, my job is to teach him how to handle these intense emotions on his own. Giving him that big hug would only positively reinforce his negative behavior. Gosh, it kills me though.
Little Dude seems good today from what I can tell, although I woke up in so much pain that I double-dosed my meds and promptly fell back asleep. I was out for almost the entire morning. Christy has him outside with the neighbors at the moment, swimming in their little pool. I will have to wait and see what all he has been up to when they come back in. I don't know what I would have done without Christy this weekend! She is headed back to Pittsburgh this evening, but Steve has off tomorrow. I really though I'd be able to handle Johnny on my own by Tuesday, but we will have to see. There was no way I would have been able to do last night's tantrum on my own, and with my body taking so much longer to heal... things should continue to be interesting.
I am just amazed and so appreciative of the tremendous outpouring of love and support I have gotten from my friends and family throughout all of this. Hopefully they won't tire of helping before I am able to return to normal life. I can't say I know of many people with such an incredible support network as I have.
I had Johnny at home with me and while I had a steady flow of helpers in the house, (never left alone with him for fear of something happening to either one of us that I wouldn't be able to handle) it was a very long day. I woke up at around 6am and didn't get to sleep again at all until 2am. Between the inability to sleep from the constant parade of people in my house and the second trip to the ER around 6pm, there was just no rest. My body was mad at me. I had honestly wanted to skip another stint at the hospital, but when I called to ask about upping my pain meds for just a day or two, I was asked a barrage of questions that I apparently failed to answer in the desired way. I was ordered back to have an ultrasound, CT scan, blood work, and the like. By around 1:30 in the morning, they had finally decided that I was just healing very slowly and maybe they should up my pain meds... to the exact dose I had suggested several hours previously from the comfort of my own bed. While I appreciate the fact that they were trying to be thorough and just wanted to help, I was exhausted, grumpy, and in a lot of pain.
Luckily that evening Christy arrived to help me for the weekend. She headed straight to the hospital to meet me, and when it looked like we were going to be there late, she told Steve she could take care of me and we let the poor man go home to sleep before his next day of work. Dotty had taken Johnny overnight for us, so we didn't have to worry about him for the evening.
The following day (we are now at Saturday) was good. I was still in a good bit of pain, but having Christy there meant I could sleep whenever my body wanted me to and I never had to worry about Johnny. She took me out to dinner at my favorite restaurant for the only food that had sounded even remotely appetizing since the surgery. For the first time in almost a week, I ate. I mean, I really ate. So good! Anyway, we went to Target (me in the motorized scooter) and bought me two flowy dresses to wear while my abdomen heals, and grabbed some much-needed groceries. By the time we returned home I was ready to crash, not to mention dealing with even more elevated pain, but it was all worth it. Besides, it was Johnny's bed time!
Well... Christy has now officially seen (and been point-man for) one of Johnny's more intense tantrums. Throwing toys, hitting, trying to bite, kicking, forcing her to drag him back into his room repeatedly, (which is hard!) and screaming that could wake the dead. About an hour or so into the tantrum, we finally had him in his room with the door held shut until he calmed enough to lay down. We walked away (should I say, Christy walked away... I'd been in an armchair in the living room just trying to duck at thrown objects and use my voice as a form of authority) and left him to his own. A while later, I could hear that Johnny had finally calmed to a slow and quiet cry, so I took his blankets and security toy back into his room for him. I knew he wouldn't sleep overnight without them, but I wasn't going to give them back until it was unrelated to the tantrum. When I got over to the side of the room where he was, traversing past every single object he owned all strewn about the floor, I found a little boy so covered in sweat and tears that he was literally soaked. He was in just his diaper, and even his hair was dripping wet! -- Now, we took out the air conditioners last weekend, which proved to be poor judgment on my part, but it wasn't hot enough to produce that level of sweat!!! Poor little dude! If only he was able to calm himself before getting like that! I mopped him up and had him get up into his bed and rubbed his back while trying to soothe him. He got quiet and both Christy and I gave him our love before shutting the door for him to sleep. We didn't hear from him again.
Talk about one of those heart-wrenching moments as a mother! He was just such a pathetic little thing that all I wanted to do was cuddle with him. I wish I could have! It was all over-- it would have been appropriate if only I could physically handle it. And it is really hard in the middle of his tantrums when I know he is just escalating at the consequences of his own actions (like losing a toy because he threw it) to not just grab him in a big bear hug and rock until he calms. But as a mom, my job is to teach him how to handle these intense emotions on his own. Giving him that big hug would only positively reinforce his negative behavior. Gosh, it kills me though.
Little Dude seems good today from what I can tell, although I woke up in so much pain that I double-dosed my meds and promptly fell back asleep. I was out for almost the entire morning. Christy has him outside with the neighbors at the moment, swimming in their little pool. I will have to wait and see what all he has been up to when they come back in. I don't know what I would have done without Christy this weekend! She is headed back to Pittsburgh this evening, but Steve has off tomorrow. I really though I'd be able to handle Johnny on my own by Tuesday, but we will have to see. There was no way I would have been able to do last night's tantrum on my own, and with my body taking so much longer to heal... things should continue to be interesting.
I am just amazed and so appreciative of the tremendous outpouring of love and support I have gotten from my friends and family throughout all of this. Hopefully they won't tire of helping before I am able to return to normal life. I can't say I know of many people with such an incredible support network as I have.
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