The month of May is shaping up to be a complete disaster. Starting off with us moving, which I'm really excited about but expect will bring some issues for Johnny because he hates change, (don't we all?) and Steve immediately going on vacation without him, to Mother's Day being right after Steve returns, (which means I will most likely just hand the kiddo over because he will be an absolute nightmare for me after a whole week with no daddy, so why torture myself?) and ending with a week where Steve is working every hour that Johnny will be awake, (resulting in a second "no daddy" week) and I'm just dreading the whole month.
Run-on sentence enough for ya? That's how I feel about the whole thing.
Johnny is still emotionally all over the place for me but remaining an angel for his daddy. I was hoping that by now, 2 months in, I would have started to see a bit of a ceasefire when it comes to his attitude toward me. We're still experiencing screaming fits about how horrible I am and how I am keeping him from the parent he really loves. I'm a mean, horrible mommy who he doesn't want to be with. I never let him do anything he wants to do. My favorite moment recently *sarcasm, heavy sarcasm* was when he hid under the table at his dad's and cried, telling his dad that he doesn't want to get in trouble with daddy because he is always in trouble with mommy. You'd think I beat the child the way he reacts when he is forced to spend time with me. He has decided on multiple occasions to go the entire day without acknowledging my existence. Like I said, I'm just thrilled about the reaction I'm going to get when he finds out that he is going to go a long stretch without daddy, twice, in the month of May. I'm praying that when I take him to the beach for a week in June, he doesn't flip out on me for even more for "no daddy" time. It won't be much of a vacation if he spends the whole time screaming at me. I'm insistent on trying, though. I really want to visit my friends in Maryland, and I am excited about getting to meet their kids. Hopefully all of our boys will get along really well!
Anyway, other than May looking like it will potentially be the worst month of my life, (yes, I'm dramatic) I'm glad that the big move is almost here. I've spent most of today packing. Really, I think that the most interesting part of my afternoon has been going through a bunch of childhood and high school papers that I didn't even realize I still had. It has been cool reliving my life through the eyes I possessed at all of those points in time. Now I wonder all the more what my son will be like at each of those stages in his own life.
Love him. Can we skip May?
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Run-on sentence enough for ya? That's how I feel about the whole thing.
Johnny is still emotionally all over the place for me but remaining an angel for his daddy. I was hoping that by now, 2 months in, I would have started to see a bit of a ceasefire when it comes to his attitude toward me. We're still experiencing screaming fits about how horrible I am and how I am keeping him from the parent he really loves. I'm a mean, horrible mommy who he doesn't want to be with. I never let him do anything he wants to do. My favorite moment recently *sarcasm, heavy sarcasm* was when he hid under the table at his dad's and cried, telling his dad that he doesn't want to get in trouble with daddy because he is always in trouble with mommy. You'd think I beat the child the way he reacts when he is forced to spend time with me. He has decided on multiple occasions to go the entire day without acknowledging my existence. Like I said, I'm just thrilled about the reaction I'm going to get when he finds out that he is going to go a long stretch without daddy, twice, in the month of May. I'm praying that when I take him to the beach for a week in June, he doesn't flip out on me for even more for "no daddy" time. It won't be much of a vacation if he spends the whole time screaming at me. I'm insistent on trying, though. I really want to visit my friends in Maryland, and I am excited about getting to meet their kids. Hopefully all of our boys will get along really well!
Anyway, other than May looking like it will potentially be the worst month of my life, (yes, I'm dramatic) I'm glad that the big move is almost here. I've spent most of today packing. Really, I think that the most interesting part of my afternoon has been going through a bunch of childhood and high school papers that I didn't even realize I still had. It has been cool reliving my life through the eyes I possessed at all of those points in time. Now I wonder all the more what my son will be like at each of those stages in his own life.
Love him. Can we skip May?
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