I get really sick and tired of people who judge when a child doesn't have perfect manners. Just because my child (or someone other kid, it's not just Johnny) doesn't always say "thank you" or show appropriate appreciation for a gift doesn't mean that the parents aren't doing their job. Kids are kids. This strange expectation that kids always maintain a sweet and polite disposition is not only insane, it is unrealistic.
I'll go ahead and say that the majority of people who seem to be of this belief are either childless or have fully grown children and seem too removed from their own parenting days to remember what it was like. So, to the people out there who fit in these two categories: chill out! My kid isn't a horrible little boy just because he isn't always perfect. He is a kid, for Pete's sake. He's 4.
A few days ago, Johnny was given a cool new hat for a present and instead of saying thanks, he promptly opened the front door and chucked it outside onto the lawn, yelling "I DON'T LIKE THAT HAT! I DON'T WANT IT! I'LL NEVER WEAR IT!" Thankfully my friend Steph, the benefactor and a woman who has yet to have children of her own, wasn't phased and didn't mind in the least. Was his reaction socially appropriate? No. Did mama correct him and insist that he use his manners before he was allowed to do anything else that day? Of course. But most importantly, in my mind, Steph didn't freak out or make some snide little comment about how he wasn't polite and needs to be taught some respect. Because I'm not kidding-- I've gotten that type of comment on more occasions than I can count. And guess what? Not only is a negative reaction like that not necessary and in and of it's self rude, it is counterproductive! When my kid hears you telling me that he needs to act differently, you're essentially guaranteeing he will react the same way the next time. Way to go, you have failed your agenda. My child remains a child; crazy, hyper, sometimes insensitive, and extremely blunt. Just like every other kid his age in the world.
When you think about it, about 90% of a parent's interaction with their child consists of life instruction. I'm sorry, but if someone was correcting me every step of the way, I'd be inclined to punch them in the face. So really, if a kid has to be told repeatedly to be polite and say "thank you" even if they didn't like a present, "excuse me" instead of interrupting a conversation, or "I'm sorry" when they've come up short on an expected response, I think we're all just lucky when they actually listen and do it.
"Chew with your mouth closed."
"Sit facing forward in your seat."
"Keep your hands out of your mouth."
"Stay in the kitchen with your drink."
"Say hello."
"Say goodbye."
"Don't jump on that."
"Stand still."
"Come here."
"Go there."
"Use your manners."
Are parents ever not telling their kids to act differently? -- And I'm not saying that it isn't necessary, it is after all the job of the parent to teach their children how to behave appropriately. But really? With the constant onslaught of instructions, is it any wonder that they don't always get it right? I mean, would you want to be told what to do all of the time? That you're wrong? That you disappointed someone again, after they "just told you 10 times"? So complaining grumpy people: calm yourselves. Or I might just start correcting your manners. Believe me, you fail in that department far more often than you realize.
(And by the way, Johnny decided the next day that his new hat from Steph is his favorite. NERD.)
I'll go ahead and say that the majority of people who seem to be of this belief are either childless or have fully grown children and seem too removed from their own parenting days to remember what it was like. So, to the people out there who fit in these two categories: chill out! My kid isn't a horrible little boy just because he isn't always perfect. He is a kid, for Pete's sake. He's 4.
A few days ago, Johnny was given a cool new hat for a present and instead of saying thanks, he promptly opened the front door and chucked it outside onto the lawn, yelling "I DON'T LIKE THAT HAT! I DON'T WANT IT! I'LL NEVER WEAR IT!" Thankfully my friend Steph, the benefactor and a woman who has yet to have children of her own, wasn't phased and didn't mind in the least. Was his reaction socially appropriate? No. Did mama correct him and insist that he use his manners before he was allowed to do anything else that day? Of course. But most importantly, in my mind, Steph didn't freak out or make some snide little comment about how he wasn't polite and needs to be taught some respect. Because I'm not kidding-- I've gotten that type of comment on more occasions than I can count. And guess what? Not only is a negative reaction like that not necessary and in and of it's self rude, it is counterproductive! When my kid hears you telling me that he needs to act differently, you're essentially guaranteeing he will react the same way the next time. Way to go, you have failed your agenda. My child remains a child; crazy, hyper, sometimes insensitive, and extremely blunt. Just like every other kid his age in the world.
When you think about it, about 90% of a parent's interaction with their child consists of life instruction. I'm sorry, but if someone was correcting me every step of the way, I'd be inclined to punch them in the face. So really, if a kid has to be told repeatedly to be polite and say "thank you" even if they didn't like a present, "excuse me" instead of interrupting a conversation, or "I'm sorry" when they've come up short on an expected response, I think we're all just lucky when they actually listen and do it.
"Chew with your mouth closed."
"Sit facing forward in your seat."
"Keep your hands out of your mouth."
"Stay in the kitchen with your drink."
"Say hello."
"Say goodbye."
"Don't jump on that."
"Stand still."
"Come here."
"Go there."
"Use your manners."
Are parents ever not telling their kids to act differently? -- And I'm not saying that it isn't necessary, it is after all the job of the parent to teach their children how to behave appropriately. But really? With the constant onslaught of instructions, is it any wonder that they don't always get it right? I mean, would you want to be told what to do all of the time? That you're wrong? That you disappointed someone again, after they "just told you 10 times"? So complaining grumpy people: calm yourselves. Or I might just start correcting your manners. Believe me, you fail in that department far more often than you realize.
(And by the way, Johnny decided the next day that his new hat from Steph is his favorite. NERD.)
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