santa is okay with washing machines

Christmas Eve, Johnny woke around 3, having wet the bed. This has only happened two other times so far, and he was rather devastated. Still half-asleep, he bawled while I grabbed every blanket and pillow in sight, (he keeps an entire pile of them in his room, and at 3am, there is really no telling what all might have been affected) working entirely in the dark. We had a tussle over me taking away his "whites" to be washed with the rest of the blankets, as well as his stuffed Mario. He was sure he'd absolutely die if he didn't have them to sleep with for the rest of the night. I gently nudged him toward the bathroom and asked him to go try and see if he had to go any more ("I DON'T! It's ALL GONE!") while I ran the bundle down to the washing machine.

Coming back up the stairs, I grabbed a few blankets and pillows out of my own room (because I am just as much of a "comfy thing" hoarder as my son) and tossed them onto his bed before joining him in the bathroom. He was standing exactly where I had left him, whimpering softly while, as best I could tell, sleeping on his feet. I felt like the meanest person in the world having to make him endure getting cleaned up, but we got everything taken care of and I took him back to his room. He wasn't happy with the new blankets, ("I NEEEEEED MY WHITES!") but I convinced him that it was a special treat to have mommy's whites for a while. I turned on some music and was about to slip out the door when he sat bolt-upright, fully awake for the first time during the entire process. "But Santa won't come if we are washing clothes! You have to turn it off! NOW! Go turn it off!" The poor little guy was starting to panic.

I asked him why he thought Santa wouldn't come to our house if the washing machine was running. Repeating back to me my bedtime warning to him from a few hours before, he explained that Santa won't come if we are awake. I was confused. We weren't going to be awake. "Santa will THINK we are awake because he will hear the noise!" My heart broke at the sight of my sad little guy. I explained that it was all going to be fine, Santa is okay with washing machines and knows that sometimes people have accidents at night and need to wash things. He would still come, we just had to go back to sleep. I crawled into bed with Little Man for a minute and held him. I was relieved when he began to fall back to sleep quickly, and I snuck out of his room to go play my part as Santa and place all of the gifts under the tree. 

Christmas morning I woke and transferred the load into the drier before Johnny even made a peep. He actually slept until about 8:30, (late for him) and everything was good to go by the time he came downstairs. Johnny forgot all about his Santa worries, and spent his first minutes of Christmas searching for the Christmas Pickle. He even got a "Pickle Present" surprise when he found the ornament! The rest of the morning was spent laughing and excitedly forcing us all to pause every ten minutes mid-unwrapping to play with whatever new toy he had just opened. 

To date, we've had 8 Christmases with various family members and have one left to go on Thursday. It has been a wonderful holiday, and we have been very blessed. I was actually amazed that we made it the whole way through with Johnny still believing in Santa. A week or so after his first encounter with Santa at the mall, the local fire company sent Santa around his grandparent's neighborhood to visit with kids while we were at their house. As I had expected, Johnny noticed the difference, even in the dark. (Check out the video I took here!) Thankfully Santa rolled with it and was able to deflect Johnny's inquisition. So, this year remained a Santa Success! We will have to see what next year brings... 

Happy Holidays, everyone!

72 ways to make me puke

10 steps to potty train your child in only 3 days, guaranteed!

17 books your kid needs read before kindergarten!

15 ways you should show your child you love them!

12 steps to a calmer Christmastime!

18 things I wish I'd known before my kids were grown!

Seriously here people, why? There are not 10 steps to potty training your child in 3 days. Potty training is a highly individual experience and not all methods are going to work for all children. Your list of 17 books gets quite expensive, and the kid won't die if he enters kindergarten without having read them all. If it takes reading a list of 15 ways to show your kids that you love them, you're doing it wrong. 12 steps are for AA, not for being zen during the holidays. Take a deep breath and realize that no two Christmases are alike and that you just need to roll with it. I am glad you have 18 things you wish you had known when you were in my position, but part of parenting is learning to ignore the millions of "experienced" parents with endless advice that never fits your own situation. 

How has the internet become so overrun with this crap? While I appreciate that most of the people posting them honestly feel that they are helping the masses, it is complete bull. There is no magical solution for anyone's problems, and there certainly isn't a list that should dictate how they handle their very personal individual family situation. It isn't so much that these bloggers are specifically wrong or ill-intentioned, but the endless barrage of self-helpers who claim to have the solution are in fact placing pressure on young parents today. Even just 5 years ago, there wasn't this intense push for parents to be perfect. Our new social-media crazed world seems to think that judgment should be passed on every parent who isn't personally teaching their preschooler quantum mechanics while maintaining a Better Homes and Gardens house, running several bake sales and PTA meetings, coaching at least 3 children's sports teams, and never once raising their voice. Heaven forbid a parent be... hmm... let's go with human? 

Is it helpful to get ideas for helping potty train your child? Sure. 

Can you benefit from a list of age-appropriate books that your kid might be interested in? Of course.

Is it sometimes fun to find creative and different ways to share your love? I guess... but it shouldn't be that hard if you really love them. Even the most socially stunted people (like my Asperger's self?) can figure it out.

Could we all use a little relaxation during the Holidays? You bet! But there is nothing on these lists that aren't common sense.

Is there something wrong with sharing your aged wisdom? No, but stop expecting it to be relevant. We are raising children in an entirely different world than you did, and while some of the "basics" may remain the same, you have no idea what we are up against. In the same way, we can respect that you raised us in a world that we will never understand from a parenting perspective. However, when they say "times are more complicated" lately, they aren't joshin around. 

I guess my biggest problem is that all of these people seem to think that their life resembles mine. No one has walked in my shoes, and I haven't walked in anyone else's. Unless they quite literally want to take over my life for me for a good month to really get a feel for my circumstance, I'd rather they shut the heck up. There is just something so presumptuous about telling me that there is a sure-fire way to get what I want in life, especially when it comes to my child. Whatever happened to just living life and learning as we go?

I have my own bit of advice, take it or leave it: stop looking to everyone else for the answers. Not one single potty training method I found online helped my son, they only made me feel worse for having tried everything and "failed". Suggestions are one thing, but people have got to stop promising results if you just follow their list. Yes, no one was forcing me to read those blogs or articles, but at the same time, how can a young mom not be drawn to see if the latest "guaranteed" method for handling "problem x" in her life, when nothing else has worked? I wish there was a way to block these lists like my email blocks out spam. I'm sick of seeing them. I'd like to go back to the world that let parents figure things out on their own, with advice given when asked for instead of flooding them unsolicited at every turn. And for heaven's sake, stop with the judgment! It helps no one.

1 step to raising an awesome kid? Love them.

nekkid

Our most recent "challenge" with Johnny concerns his clothes. You see, traditionally, people wear their clothes. This fact is apparently too much for Little Man to comprehend...

In the middle of the day, randomly, he will walk downstairs after going potty and be in just his underwear. At GG's house, he will somehow mysteriously lose his pants. At his grandma's house, he recently returned from the bathroom with nothing on. When we ask him where his clothes went, we get a very literal description of where. When we ask him why his clothes have been taken off, he almost always answers with, "I didn't need them!"

Um, yes you do.

Now, some may say that this is payback for me. I am notorious for (when home alone, in the company of my husband or maybe my sister, not just random people) not being the best about making sure I'm entirely dressed. Pants are overrated in my opinion. Modesty has never really been something I've been concerned with, because we all have the same parts, and people can just chill out. I'm not saying I wear provocative clothing, I just tended to be the girl in college who didn't mind wearing only a towel between the bathroom and my bedroom.

When it was my kid running around Target without a shirt on while I chased after him, I began to have a more firm stance on what is appropriate and what isn't. More than anything, this stems from the need for him to understand that there are people in the world who might hurt him. I appreciate that he just now finished potty training, so underwear is still something exciting that he wants to show off, but he can't!

I think perhaps it is my fault in part for letting him spend half of the summer running around in nothing but his diaper. We were at home, alone, and it was hot. Like, really hot. I didn't even think about the fact that I was setting the precedent for how clothing should be regarded. Of course I clothed him when we were leaving the house to go somewhere, but how could he know why I chose to make him wear clothes in one circumstance and let him run around without clothes on the rest of the time? So, it really is my fault. However, I'm not entirely sure how to change his mindset now that he keeps stripping in public. Nothing I say seems to get through to him.

I would also like to note that there is a mound of snow as high as my front door in our yard right now. How is he not cold?! I would have thought that at least winter would discourage such displays. Our house hovers around 63 degrees during the winter months, often prompting me to wear a hoodie. I'm not quite sure how I am going to convince the kid to cover up, but it has to be done!