Monday, December 16, 2013

72 ways to make me puke

10 steps to potty train your child in only 3 days, guaranteed!

17 books your kid needs read before kindergarten!

15 ways you should show your child you love them!

12 steps to a calmer Christmastime!

18 things I wish I'd known before my kids were grown!

Seriously here people, why? There are not 10 steps to potty training your child in 3 days. Potty training is a highly individual experience and not all methods are going to work for all children. Your list of 17 books gets quite expensive, and the kid won't die if he enters kindergarten without having read them all. If it takes reading a list of 15 ways to show your kids that you love them, you're doing it wrong. 12 steps are for AA, not for being zen during the holidays. Take a deep breath and realize that no two Christmases are alike and that you just need to roll with it. I am glad you have 18 things you wish you had known when you were in my position, but part of parenting is learning to ignore the millions of "experienced" parents with endless advice that never fits your own situation. 

How has the internet become so overrun with this crap? While I appreciate that most of the people posting them honestly feel that they are helping the masses, it is complete bull. There is no magical solution for anyone's problems, and there certainly isn't a list that should dictate how they handle their very personal individual family situation. It isn't so much that these bloggers are specifically wrong or ill-intentioned, but the endless barrage of self-helpers who claim to have the solution are in fact placing pressure on young parents today. Even just 5 years ago, there wasn't this intense push for parents to be perfect. Our new social-media crazed world seems to think that judgment should be passed on every parent who isn't personally teaching their preschooler quantum mechanics while maintaining a Better Homes and Gardens house, running several bake sales and PTA meetings, coaching at least 3 children's sports teams, and never once raising their voice. Heaven forbid a parent be... hmm... let's go with human

Is it helpful to get ideas for helping potty train your child? Sure. 

Can you benefit from a list of age-appropriate books that your kid might be interested in? Of course.

Is it sometimes fun to find creative and different ways to share your love? I guess... but it shouldn't be that hard if you really love them. Even the most socially stunted people (like my Asperger's self?) can figure it out.

Could we all use a little relaxation during the Holidays? You bet! But there is nothing on these lists that aren't common sense.

Is there something wrong with sharing your aged wisdom? No, but stop expecting it to be relevant. We are raising children in an entirely different world than you did, and while some of the "basics" may remain the same, you have no idea what we are up against. In the same way, we can respect that you raised us in a world that we will never understand from a parenting perspective. However, when they say "times are more complicated" lately, they aren't joshin around. 

I guess my biggest problem is that all of these people seem to think that their life resembles mine. No one has walked in my shoes, and I haven't walked in anyone else's. Unless they quite literally want to take over my life for me for a good month to really get a feel for my circumstance, I'd rather they shut the heck up. There is just something so presumptuous about telling me that there is a sure-fire way to get what I want in life, especially when it comes to my child. Whatever happened to just living life and learning as we go?

I have my own bit of advice, take it or leave it: stop looking to everyone else for the answers. Not one single potty training method I found online helped my son, they only made me feel worse for having tried everything and "failed". Suggestions are one thing, but people have got to stop promising results if you just follow their list. Yes, no one was forcing me to read those blogs or articles, but at the same time, how can a young mom not be drawn to see if the latest "guaranteed" method for handling "problem x" in her life, when nothing else has worked? I wish there was a way to block these lists like my email blocks out spam. I'm sick of seeing them. I'd like to go back to the world that let parents figure things out on their own, with advice given when asked for instead of flooding them unsolicited at every turn. And for heaven's sake, stop with the judgment! It helps no one.

1 step to raising an awesome kid? Love them.



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