halloween

Growing up, mid-September always marked the time where we began to plan out our Halloween costumes. We didn't have money, and my mom's rule was that we either borrow it from someone who wasn't going to be using it, or we make our own costume out of what we could find at the house. This wasn't just frugal, it forced us to be creative. I remember in the fifth grade I went as Marvin the Martian with a green skirt and red turtleneck, my face painted black with big white circles around my eyes, red tights and white sneakers, white latex gloves (I was working with what I could find!) and a imaginative little hat made from the inside foam padding of a broken bike helmet that had been painted green and topped with an upside-down yellow construction paper brush. I had refused to go my sister's lazy route of borrowing the same extra witch costume from the neighbor, 5 years in a row.

Anyway, when I had Johnny I vowed (among the list of many things that I would change or not change about my upbringing) that I would teach my kids the meaning of creativity and imagination (and not spoil them) by making them work on original costumes for Halloween. His first year he was only 6 months old and we were flat broke. I was going to just stick him in a cute puppy-themed sleeper we already owned, but my mom couldn't resist the uber-cute baby costumes at the store and bought him a chunky monkey outfit that was adorable. His second Halloween I figured he was too young to understand any of it, so I bought him a little $10 soldier uniform off the internet and put my brother's dog tags around his neck. He was the cutest little Army man the world has ever seen!

The year he was 2 1/2 I took him to the store to look at the costumes and get an idea of what he thought might be fun. He was obviously still too young to get the concept of Halloween, but he did already have a box full of dress-up clothes and was excited when mommy offered him something new. Instead of him picking something generic that I could easily make at home, he picked Cookie Monster. Well, whatever. I just caved and bought it. It isn't like he was going to learn anything from me making it at home anyway. Last year, at age 3, Johnny decided he wanted to be "SUPER JOHNNY" for Halloween. We dressed him in a fedora and necktie with boxer briefs over his pants and put a cape on him that I had hand-sewn, made from old t-shirts. Finally! We were starting into the tradition of making the costumes ourselves. I didn't spend a single penny, though I wasn't (and am still not) opposed to buying supplies for his future costumes: I just don't like the idea of a complete costume out of a box. I especially detest the $45+ that they charge for some of these costumes! I digress...

This September rolled around and after we got into the swing of things with school, I decided to ask the kiddo what he wanted to dress up as for Halloween? He remembers trick-or-treating last year, so he was quite excited. What did he want to be? Well, Luigi of course!

Wait-- Luigi? Not Mario?

"But mom! Mario is already HERE!" -- Correct! We have our very own beloved Mario with us 24/7, so it does make sense that he wants to dress the part of Luigi to match. How could a mom believe otherwise? "You're so silly. You have to think, mommy!" Yes, think.

- Luigi hat

- Long sleeve kelly green shirt without logo or markings

- White gloves

- Blue overalls

- Brown shoes

- Mustache

So I got to work. I ordered the Luigi hat off of Amazon (complete with matching Mario hat, though Johnny knows nothing about that one quite yet!) and the gloves there as well. I know Amazon's prices fluctuate, but when I ordered them the hats were $6.50 as a set with free shipping and the gloves were $3.50 with free shipping. I had looked at making the hat on my own, but the supplies cost more than it did buying that set outright! 

Then, after checking every store in our town that sells children's clothing and eventually resorting to trolling the internet for something that could work, I finally came across WalMart's school uniform shop online. You can't buy school uniforms in stores, but you can order them on the website, so I ordered the shirt in a double pack, one in the shade of kelly green and the other a pretty blue that I'm sure he will wear at some point. Cost: $12 for 2. (I would have bought the other one in red so that he would have a Mario outfit all lined up and ready for him, but the only red they had was more of a scarlet...) 

So, add in one of the mustaches I found at Party City for 35 cents in their favors section, a pair of hand-me-down brown shoes someone gave us and a pair of jean overalls from Kid 2 Kid for $3.99, and we've got our costume! All-in-all, I spent less than $17 on the actual costume, which is cheaper than the ones they sell in the stores. (Plus, the ones in the store are flimsy quality things that fall apart after one day!) The best part is that he will have use for most of the components past just his dress-up time. 

I have to say, I lucked out this year. It doesn't get much easier than putting together a Luigi costume. And at least for the next few years, the creativity aspect is on me. Figuring out how to use what is at hand or make a costume with minimal extras and only buying parts and pieces of it will be a fun thing to watch Johnny learn how to do when he gets old enough. Since he couldn't do all of that this year, I did make him "earn" part of his costume. Because everything in our lives revolve around his potty training issues, it was only fitting that in order to get a Luigi hat, he had to show us that he could be a big boy! He earned it tonight, and so he was allowed to try on the entire outfit. 

I think it turned out well! 

whoops

Have you ever told your kid that you were going to do something for them and then totally forgotten about it? Yeah. Fun times. Especially with a "rules" and "extra literal" kid. The tantrums that ensue are outrageous and I just sit there kicking myself when it happens because we could have avoided a huge problem if I had just remembered. What makes it worse is if he is freaking out about a promise one parent made when it is the other parent he is talking to. It happened last night...

We had gone to Barnes & Noble (a place we hadn't actually been to in quite a long time) after dinner, and I let him pick out a book and gave him his money to pay for it. He tried to get me to let him buy a toy, but I explained that it is a book store, and I don't honestly care if they sell toys, he was going to buy a book or nothing. Johnny took about 20 minutes picking out exactly which book he wanted, and then we went to pay. We went out to the car, and as he was getting into his seat he asked if I could read it to him. I told him no, not in the car, but right before bed I could read it to him.

Two hours later, I had forgotten the book even existed. When we got home I had started doing other things, and so when Steve went to put him to bed, I wasn't even thinking about the book being a factor. I was working on the computer in my room when I heard Steve giving him the usual options: 5 minutes with the lights on with a book with his CD playing, just his CD playing, or nothing at all. Johnny kept saying, "but it is time to read!" over and over and began to have a full-on meltdown. Steve, like anyone, was a bit confused because he had just offered Johnny the choice of reading for 5 minutes with the lights on. When Johnny wouldn't calm down, Steve told him that he would make the decision for him: it was lights-out. Suddenly, something clicked in my brain. Oh yeah! I had told the kid I would read his new book to him! I felt so bad once I realized that the screaming was my fault.

I went over into the room and told Steve I understood what was going on, (since the poor guy had no way of knowing) and I sat down to talk to Johnny. We discussed how screaming and throwing a fit is not a good choice and is never going to get him what he wants from mommy and daddy. We talked about how when we get mad, we should take a deep breath and count numbers. I then told him that it was okay, I had forgotten that I was going to read to him, but that he needed to go tell daddy with calm words what I had promised. He eventually did so, and soon his frustration had evaporated. We cuddled and I read him his book, kissed him goodnight, put on his CD and left the room.

I struggle sometimes between the guilt of having been the one to cause the meltdown and the understanding that if it wasn't me, it would have been someone else, and he needs to learn how to handle situations like that. What kills me is the part where he isn't able to effectively communicate. He really truly thinks that what he is saying makes perfect sense to whoever is listening, but they just don't get it. He was telling daddy that it was reading time; how much clearer could he be? He is 4. And it isn't as though things started off as a meltdown, it was when daddy didn't understand what he was saying (or, as I suspect in his mind, daddy ignored his words even though he started saying them calmly) that things escalated.

I still feel guilty.

things are picking up

Fall has officially arrived; we're back into the swing of the school year. The air has finally started to cool some and the leaves are beginning to change colors. Raffle tickets are for sale, and Halloween costumes are in the works. The weather seems to have taken a while to cooperate, but Johnny and his mama are definitely in "fall mode". He has been back to school long enough now to fight me on having to go each morning and refuse to leave when the day is over. All reports say that he is starting to ease out of the honeymoon phase and get back to the kid we all know and love to work hard with. The easy days may be over, but now we can all get down to helping him learn to self-regulate his emotions. It may sound strange, but to me the start of the year is harder because it feels like wasted time. I know the "problem behaviors" are going to come back, and it is almost as though we've just pressed pause on them. I want to get to the root of things and help him change his mindset for good, not sit around as if the issues are gone. According to today's phone call with Autumn, my boy is acting more like his normal self. With all of her wonderful grace, Autumn is just as ready to jump in and work with him as I am. I couldn't ask for more!

The biggest change for Johnny this school year doesn't have anything to do with school. This year, Johnny is (as he tells everyone he meets) four AND A HALF, and is now the proud "daddy" of two adorable kittens. A week ago Sunday, Steve's coworker Jackie brought over all five kittens from the litter her cat had birthed six weeks prior. They were all awesome little fuzzballs, and we got to spend the entire day with them to choose which two we wanted to keep. Johnny didn't seem to have an opinion past "an orange one and a black one" (two were orange and the other three were black) so Steve and I picked the two we wanted. Since the kiddo was most interested in naming them after cartoon characters from his current favorite shows, which we doubt he will still watch six months from now, we took the liberty of naming them. The slightly larger black one we named Holmes and the orange striped one became Watson.

We could not have picked a better time in his life to have that kiddo in charge of some pets! While he obviously is too young to care for them entirely on his own, we do have him help with the feeding and general training. This morning I went downstairs to find him sitting with his hand across a lounging Watson's belly, just chillin. I asked him what he was doing? "Feeling him purrrrrrrr." I'm thrilled with how well he has taken to them, and he is quickly becoming a top-notch pet owner.

Johnny did inform us that he is their daddy, Steve is their grandpa, and I am their mommy because they "can't not have a mommy!" Gotta love him.