leaps and bounds

This past week or so has been full of big steps for Johnny. While it may not seem like a big deal to most people, my son has overcome two of his biggest sensory challenges and I couldn't be more proud. 

The other day we went out to my mom's house for the evening. Johnny's Grammy and Pappy Chris own a small farmette a little way out of town, and we like to go there and let Johnny help out with feeding the chickens, collecting eggs, planting and maintaining the garden, and mowing the lawn. (I've covered that last bit previously!) Anyway, the other evening we were there and it was hot out. For some reason his dad had sent Johnny to camp in long pants that morning, and being the stellar mom that I am, I didn't even notice it until we were out at my mom's a few hours later. The poor kid was dying, so I told him to take his pants off and just not worry about them. After all, it was just my mother and I out there with him. Well Johnny decided he was going to help Grammy clean out and refill the chickens' water, and before I knew it I heard squeals coming from the other side of the barn. Johnny was taking turns chasing grammy with the hose and vice versa. Eventually my mom talked him into helping her water the plants around the house, and by the end of it they had settled on watching the sprinkler in the garden for a little while. 

Johnny ventured into the garden while the sprinkler was running and before long was covered in freezing cold water, mud and grass. We let him play like that for a good long while, and every few minutes he would come running over to have me "check" his shirt or his shoes to show me just how dirty they were getting. While this may seem like a relatively simple and normal thing for a 5 year old to do, you have to understand that Johnny doesn't mix textures... ever. We have spent the past two years or so working so hard to have him handle mixed textures, and even just a single texture like mud or the feel of grass have been hard. Add in the fact that he was getting sprayed in the face with water, (yet another major issue we have dealt with in the past) I was floored that he was handling everything the way he did. He was seriously excited! Which in turn had both Grammy and me excited! I could barely believe what he was doing-- in soaking wet muddy sneakers and all. Super proud.

Well, then Wednesday came this week and it was our time to say goodbye to Ashleigh (his TSS) for good. What else would I choose to do on her last day than tackle one of Johnny's most difficult problems? I mean, I could have taken it easy on the poor girl, but honestly I was worried that without her and in the process of "breaking in" a new TSS, it might be a while until I had help with this particular issue, so I just went ahead and decided to shoot for it... a haircut. I gave Johnny three options: I could cut it at home with scissors, he could get it cut at a salon with scissors, or I could buzz it with the clippers at home. He asked what incentive I would give him for any of those options, so I told him that he could have chocolate if he got his hair cut with the scissors at either place, but could have a toy he has been begging me for for the past few months if he let me buzz it. Keeping in mind the fact that he hasn't had his hair buzzed in over 2 years because the noise and vibration are both too much for him to handle usually, I explained to him that if he let me use the clippers, he would get to go longer between haircuts. While that sounded good to him, I really think that the prospect of that toy is what did it for him: we were going to buzz it.

After the last haircut experience we had, (read here) I was super psyched that he was going to let me use the clippers because they're honestly a lot easier for me. However, I was expecting a full-on meltdown during the process, several stops, and was fully ready to accept that I might only get half of his head done before he lost it entirely and made the rest of the day a living nightmare. To my delight, he sat *relatively* still and it was all over in less than 10 minutes. Gone! A whole pile of strawberry blonde hair on the floor and a clean looking kid! We did go and get him the toy and he was just about as proud of himself as I was. 

After all of this, in addition to the experience we had at the ocean when he fell under and then got back up to keep playing, I can't help but look back at where things were even just a year ago. I am astounded by the progress he has made, and the fact that all of the big things seem to be happening in close succession leads me to believe that he is truly adjusting to the changes in his life. With custody evening out to start our set hours at the beginning of next month and school starting near the end, I think that Johnny and I have definitely found our footing. I am still just so impressed with the progress he has made, and I don't know that I could ask for anything more. I love that boy!

a peaceful summer

You can tell we're into the full swing of summer when I'm having a hard time remembering to write. However, this week started Johnny's camp that will see him through until school starts, so I am beginning to find myself with a little more free time on my hands. In addition to his camp, I've decided to take a few weeks off of school, so even the kid-less time that I usually use for homework has been freed up. So far I've made spectacular use of it all and caught a few naps here and there. 

We've had a few great moments and a few bumps along the way over the past few weeks, but overall I think the little guy is doing pretty well. The difference between last summer and this summer is like night and day. Where last year I couldn't take him out of the house without an additional set of hands, I've not only taken him on that trip to Maryland, but generally found a way to get him out of the house every day that he is with me. Parks, shopping, play dates, church... we've kept busy. The biggest downside to everything is that after almost a year with her, we will be losing his TSS Ashleigh. I couldn't have a higher respect for that girl, and she has been an amazing addition to our lives. She has been super helpful and sweet as can be, helping us through some tough times. Next week is his last session with her. After saying goodbye to Autumn, it feels a little hard to turn around and have Ashleigh leave as well. (Although to be fair, I saw Autumn yesterday and she plans on hanging out with us again soon!) 

In the world of accomplishments, Johnny has made some other big steps. Where the past few years have seen him too afraid to get on his Pappy Chris' tractor, Johnny has decided that this year the noise and height are worth it. He held his hands over his ears for the first 10 minutes or so, but settled into it and decided that he never wanted to get down. He now wants me to take him over every weekend so that he can help Chris mow the grass. Johnny also has been more open to some new foods as of late, and not only did I convince him to try venison the other day, he downed it! We drove home from Grammy's with some more for me to cook up. He also ate a ton of ham the other day, and for those who know the kiddo, getting him to eat meat of any kind has always been a huge challenge, so I'm impressed and thrilled! He even ate the chicken alfredo I made for dinner a few nights ago, which I've never seen him so much as touch before. 

June has kicked off our summer well, and I'm glad that Johnny is enjoying life again. I was seriously worried for a while there, but it seems like he is adjusting to his new life and is maybe even starting to thrive again. He did talk to me this morning about the fact that he wishes his daddy and I were still married, but he was completely relaxed during our conversation and I simply explained that sometimes adults don't stay married and that his daddy and I will always love him just as much as we did before, and his daddy and I are friends. It isn't as though he hasn't heard this all from me a million times over the past few months, but I felt like this morning he really was listening to me when I said it. He gave me a big hug, then looked me in the eyes and said, "You're happy now, mom. I like it when you are happy. It's all okay, because you're always my family and I'll never not be your son." 

He's going to be just fine. This is what was best for all of us, including him.

the beach

Well, we went to the beach to visit my friends Joel and Sara. I have to say that for a 5 day trip with just me and the little man, things went about as well as I could have possibly hoped. He was in a pretty good mood for most of it, listened to me really well, and got along with his new friend Isaac (the oldest son of the family we were visiting, who is 4) swimmingly. I was even impressed with how well he handled the 1 year old twins, Jack and Ben. Johnny can be somewhat unsure of how to handle babies, but he did great.

This was the first time Johnny had ever seen the ocean. While the entire trip went amazingly well, I was the most impressed with how my kid handled the ocean. Within 5 minutes, he had been knocked on his butt and swallowed up momentarily by a wave, (I was right there and pulled him back up) and I seriously expected him to start to cry and refuse to go anywhere near the water for the rest of the day. He doesn't handle water touching his face at all, and to be knocked over and pushed under briefly was something I was sure would send him into a panic. However, he simply stood back up and sputtered for a moment, looked at me, and said "woah". That was it... just "woah" and then back to playing. He never went quite as deep again as he had been in that moment, (about 6 inches of water) but he proceeded to play with Isaac and chase the waves up and down the beach for several hours more. Joel and I literally had to coax the shivering boys out of the water.

The trip was good for me as well, in a lot of ways. While I enjoyed the beach immensely, more than anything I needed the time spent with such great friends. They're the kind of people you meet early on in life and connect with, and no matter how much time has passed or the distance that has physically grown between where you live, you are able to pick back up without blinking. Joel and Sara are two of a small handful of people who I truly feel relaxed around. Staying up an entire night with Joel and talking over the changes in life we have both experienced in the 7 years since we last saw one another, and spending the days with Sara sharing the good, the bad, and the ugly side of being a stay at home mom were priceless experiences for me. Looking back, it is amazing how little time we actually spent together when we first became friends. It is kind of insane that such a bond has lasted over the years, and I'm thankful to have them as a part of my life, no matter how far apart we may be. I'll have to admit: it was somewhat entertaining and almost a relief to be with friends who, when I put my foot in my mouth or said something completely off the wall, just laughed and said "you're still Karie" with a smile. Not a whole lot of people in my life react to me that way, outside of my family. It is good to have friends who accept me, quirks and all.

Anyway, the drive home felt longer than the drive down and I was relieved to find that my ex's parents were willing to take Johnny for the evening, because it turned out that he had believed he was going to see his dad that night, (who was working until 10, so that wasn't the plan) and he had begun to have a meltdown by the time we made it the whole way home. He was able to see his dad, even for just a few minutes, before falling asleep that night. I feel bad because I know that this whole split custody thing is still really confusing for Johnny, and at least for the remainder of the summer, it is a little strange while we work around Steve's schedule. I think that when the fall does come, we are going to have a hard time adjusting him to the set week/weekend schedule. I may see if his dad is willing to start that a week or two before school begins, just so that he isn't dealing with so many changes at one time. We'll have to wait and see.