Today Johnny and I went on a mommy/son date. It wasn't planned, and what made it even better was the fact that I didn't have my phone on me. The phone was accidentally left behind in the rush to get out the door for church, and when we ran to drop off my wedding rings to be re-sized with a jeweler in the mall afterward, I didn't bother to stop at home to pick it up. After all, we were only going there then home.
On the way into the mall, we passed a restaurant where we had recently gone out to eat with "My Grandpa". I've made the mistake of calling my father "daddy" one too many times in front of Johnny, forcing me to explain repeatedly that he is "my daddy". As a result, Johnny has begun to call him "My Grandpa" every time he sees or references him. Johnny got very excited and asked if we could go eat pasta and draw with crayons? I hadn't planned on spending any money on eating out, but then again it would be about half the price of a normal excursion since his meals aren't too expensive yet and Steve wasn't with us, so I figured why not? I agreed on the condition that he behaved while we were in the jewelry store. We went into the store and I explained to the lady at the counter what the problem was (I was there so they could fix a mistake they had made in their resizing a week prior) and Johnny began to wander around. Suddenly he started to sing.
I can't even recollect the words to the song. He could only remember one line of it himself, having just learned it in Sunday School. There were hand motions involving throwing his arms open wide and giving himself a big hug... something along the lines of "His love, for us". It totally took me by surprise. I hadn't honestly been watching him because the lady who was behind the counter facing me was keeping an eye on him and she knows us pretty well. I was filling out paper work at that point. Everyone in the store stopped and stared as he repeated it several times, projecting his voice (but not yelling as he is want to do). When he stopped, everyone clapped. -- Then he started again. Naturally, we all burst out laughing. He got a big goofy grin on his face and just continued. At that point I had finished up what I was needed for, so I was able to lead him out of the store, singing all the way.
By the time we walked back over to the restaurant, he seemed to have realized that he had lost his audience. The song quieted to more of a chant while I gave our "just two" and asked to be seated. When we got to the booth, he took a good 3 or 4 minutes to decide which side he wanted to sit on. He finally pointed at his choice, (the right side; I have no idea what made it the superior choice in the long run, but it was better in some way) and I went to sit on the opposite. "NO! You sit with me mommy! We can draw with crayons together!"
I scooted in first and he snuggled right on up next to me. The waitress came and placed some utensils on the table as well as a kiddie mat in front of him. "We will have crayons, a soda, and a chocolate milk please." The little guy had ordered for us! And in a very matter-of-fact way, without blinking. I couldn't help but laugh and nodded my head at the waitress in affirmation, specifying which soda I wanted. Having been there plenty of times, I knew what I wanted so I didn't bother with the menu when Johnny wanted to get right to work with the puzzles on the place mat. We spent the next 30 minutes or so (the place was absolutely packed) figuring out what letters different pictured words start with, drawing circles around similar shapes, and hunting down hidden objects. We ran out of activities on the mat, so we made up our own. We counted to 150, writing down the numbers as we went. He wrote numbers 27 - 63 all by himself. He is a bit of a speed demon, to be honest. We sounded out words that we found written on posters on the walls, and we began to sing "Pop Goes the Weasel" with the wrong words. His favorites included the monkey chasing a volcano around the cobbler's bench and the Johnny chasing the mommy. I wasn't too sure about the logistics about the volcano situation, but the mommy popping after being chased by the Johnny seemed reasonable to me.
When our food came, everything was as usual. He wanted his pasta, but not enough to actually eat all of it. We bargained just like at home, despite the fact that he had come up with the idea of eating there and picking that food in particular. I'm not a mom who is ashamed to admit that at the end of the day, if my kid eats a few all-fruit gummy snacks so that I had less of a need to pull my hair out and I have avoided yelling, I've had a successful day. I do what I have to do to get by. I've covered deals before... this is all a part of that. Anyway, the deal today was that if he ate all of his food, he could have a cookie when we got home. Even better, he could have one from my supposedly secret stash of Grasshoppers that he actually knows all about (a special treat for our unexpected date). Lunch was a success! We finished up and while waiting for my card back from the waitress, he turned to me and asked for some money. He wanted to go to the crane machine bus outside of Macy's to try and win an Angry Bird.
I'm a sucker. It turned out that his lunch was free, (apparently it is a Sunday deal there) so how could I say no? He had behaved so well! So I looked in my wallet and there was exactly one dollar bill. I leaned over and explained to him that I was going to give him a dollar because he had been on such good behavior and I thought that since it was a special mommy and Johnny day he and I could walk down and do that, but part of the deal was that he needed to continue to be very good. He agreed, took the dollar, and lead the way out of the restaurant.
Barely had we made it into the mall before he stopped completely. I squatted down to see what was up. He cocked his head sideways at me... "Daddy gives me two." I may be a sucker, but apparently I'm not as bad as daddy. I told him it wasn't going to happen, but nice try. He insisted that he was telling the truth, which I know really is the case and I told him I believed him, but as the mean mama is always saying, I'm not daddy. Thankfully today he didn't seem to mind. Thus began our trek from the middle of the mall to the end of the mall.
We didn't step on a single crack the whole way. Not one. For a three year old, that is quite a feat, seeing as how you have to walk on every single square. There isn't any skipping tiles and there is no keeping pace with pedestrian traffic. We took our time and (naturally) spent all of it looking at our feet. People quickly figured out what we were doing and gave us a wide berth. When we got to the bus that houses the crane, I saw that it still wasn't calibrated right, and was unable to drop any prizes off in the bin, but figured it was more of a problem to walk him through that disastrous conclusion than it would be to just spend the dollar and not win.
We lost.
We walked at a normal pace after that, being harassed by Girl Scouts several times and stopping in a few stores to see if we could find a birthday present for daddy. No such luck, but he did find a few presents he though would be great for him. No such luck on that front either, though his efforts were quite spectacular. Some of the explanations as to why he should get them were even close to valid. After lapping the mall again, we started to get tired and headed back toward the entrance we came in at. We had stopped in one store where they were playing their music too loud for Johnny to handle and he had covered his ears and yelled for me to take him out, so we began singing our own songs at an inappropriately loud volume. This is something he often does to compensate when he has had a sensory overload experience. Quite frankly, it is also something that he does at random for no reason other than because he is three years old, and three year olds sing very loudly at times. Today this was not the case, but so what if it was? We were back to Pop Goes the Weasel most of the time, inserting outrageous combinations to create what would in truth be hilarious scenarios. It was just as we rounded the corner and came in sight of the doors that exhaustion entirely overcame him. Johnny sat down, dramatically tumbling down to his spot on the floor.
So I sat down. He started to giggle. Actually, so did an elderly couple sitting on a bench nearby. I was quite thankful that I was wearing a skirt that reached to my ankles, but other than that I didn't mind in the least. I asked him what was up, and he told me that he was just too tired to go any further. We had talked about the fact that we were going home to take a nap, and he told me that if he sat there long enough he would be rested and not need to go to sleep when we got home. I told him that would only work if we took a long nap right there on the floor. He looked at me like I was nuts, but I wasn't going to give up on a nap at home, so I made my point by laying down. He giggled and laid the whole way down too. That is when he noticed the skylight.
I think we laid there for a good 10 minutes. Johnny was convinced that the "window builders" had messed up and put it in the wrong place. He is currently of the opinion that no adults know how to do their jobs, because he also saw some guys cutting down a tree while we were parked at the gas station earlier, and he told me he was going to have to go back on Tuesday (?) and get all the pieces and put it back together. "They are supposed to help fix the trees, not hurt them. They are the bad guys!" And now the builders were putting windows in the ceiling? Crazy adults!
When we finally sat back up, he insisted he was still too tired to walk to the door. Instead he decided to scoot. To me, this takes more energy. To a three year old, this is avoiding walking while simultaneously remaining dramatic. He scooted on his butt for an entire corridor through the mall, stopping only once to shout out, "I NEED A TISSUE!" as his nose started to run. I didn't actually have any, so I thrust out my coat sleeve and dragged it under his nose. He laughed at me and I told him I would throw the jacket in the wash as soon as we got home and that he isn't allowed to do that with his own clothes unless it is an emergency and there are no tissues anywhere. His sensory processing issues would have kept us from doing anything until the snot problem was fixed, and it would have caused a complete meltdown. I'd rather just gross up my jacket.
He made me hold open the first set of double doors so that he could scoot the whole way through to the outer doors. When he finally got there, he stood up and gave me a high-five. We held hands in the parking lot so that he didn't fall, and got buckled in. He didn't say a single word on the ride home.
I had 7 missed calls. I'm so glad I forgot my phone at home.
On the way into the mall, we passed a restaurant where we had recently gone out to eat with "My Grandpa". I've made the mistake of calling my father "daddy" one too many times in front of Johnny, forcing me to explain repeatedly that he is "my daddy". As a result, Johnny has begun to call him "My Grandpa" every time he sees or references him. Johnny got very excited and asked if we could go eat pasta and draw with crayons? I hadn't planned on spending any money on eating out, but then again it would be about half the price of a normal excursion since his meals aren't too expensive yet and Steve wasn't with us, so I figured why not? I agreed on the condition that he behaved while we were in the jewelry store. We went into the store and I explained to the lady at the counter what the problem was (I was there so they could fix a mistake they had made in their resizing a week prior) and Johnny began to wander around. Suddenly he started to sing.
I can't even recollect the words to the song. He could only remember one line of it himself, having just learned it in Sunday School. There were hand motions involving throwing his arms open wide and giving himself a big hug... something along the lines of "His love, for us". It totally took me by surprise. I hadn't honestly been watching him because the lady who was behind the counter facing me was keeping an eye on him and she knows us pretty well. I was filling out paper work at that point. Everyone in the store stopped and stared as he repeated it several times, projecting his voice (but not yelling as he is want to do). When he stopped, everyone clapped. -- Then he started again. Naturally, we all burst out laughing. He got a big goofy grin on his face and just continued. At that point I had finished up what I was needed for, so I was able to lead him out of the store, singing all the way.
By the time we walked back over to the restaurant, he seemed to have realized that he had lost his audience. The song quieted to more of a chant while I gave our "just two" and asked to be seated. When we got to the booth, he took a good 3 or 4 minutes to decide which side he wanted to sit on. He finally pointed at his choice, (the right side; I have no idea what made it the superior choice in the long run, but it was better in some way) and I went to sit on the opposite. "NO! You sit with me mommy! We can draw with crayons together!"
I scooted in first and he snuggled right on up next to me. The waitress came and placed some utensils on the table as well as a kiddie mat in front of him. "We will have crayons, a soda, and a chocolate milk please." The little guy had ordered for us! And in a very matter-of-fact way, without blinking. I couldn't help but laugh and nodded my head at the waitress in affirmation, specifying which soda I wanted. Having been there plenty of times, I knew what I wanted so I didn't bother with the menu when Johnny wanted to get right to work with the puzzles on the place mat. We spent the next 30 minutes or so (the place was absolutely packed) figuring out what letters different pictured words start with, drawing circles around similar shapes, and hunting down hidden objects. We ran out of activities on the mat, so we made up our own. We counted to 150, writing down the numbers as we went. He wrote numbers 27 - 63 all by himself. He is a bit of a speed demon, to be honest. We sounded out words that we found written on posters on the walls, and we began to sing "Pop Goes the Weasel" with the wrong words. His favorites included the monkey chasing a volcano around the cobbler's bench and the Johnny chasing the mommy. I wasn't too sure about the logistics about the volcano situation, but the mommy popping after being chased by the Johnny seemed reasonable to me.
When our food came, everything was as usual. He wanted his pasta, but not enough to actually eat all of it. We bargained just like at home, despite the fact that he had come up with the idea of eating there and picking that food in particular. I'm not a mom who is ashamed to admit that at the end of the day, if my kid eats a few all-fruit gummy snacks so that I had less of a need to pull my hair out and I have avoided yelling, I've had a successful day. I do what I have to do to get by. I've covered deals before... this is all a part of that. Anyway, the deal today was that if he ate all of his food, he could have a cookie when we got home. Even better, he could have one from my supposedly secret stash of Grasshoppers that he actually knows all about (a special treat for our unexpected date). Lunch was a success! We finished up and while waiting for my card back from the waitress, he turned to me and asked for some money. He wanted to go to the crane machine bus outside of Macy's to try and win an Angry Bird.
I'm a sucker. It turned out that his lunch was free, (apparently it is a Sunday deal there) so how could I say no? He had behaved so well! So I looked in my wallet and there was exactly one dollar bill. I leaned over and explained to him that I was going to give him a dollar because he had been on such good behavior and I thought that since it was a special mommy and Johnny day he and I could walk down and do that, but part of the deal was that he needed to continue to be very good. He agreed, took the dollar, and lead the way out of the restaurant.
Barely had we made it into the mall before he stopped completely. I squatted down to see what was up. He cocked his head sideways at me... "Daddy gives me two." I may be a sucker, but apparently I'm not as bad as daddy. I told him it wasn't going to happen, but nice try. He insisted that he was telling the truth, which I know really is the case and I told him I believed him, but as the mean mama is always saying, I'm not daddy. Thankfully today he didn't seem to mind. Thus began our trek from the middle of the mall to the end of the mall.
We didn't step on a single crack the whole way. Not one. For a three year old, that is quite a feat, seeing as how you have to walk on every single square. There isn't any skipping tiles and there is no keeping pace with pedestrian traffic. We took our time and (naturally) spent all of it looking at our feet. People quickly figured out what we were doing and gave us a wide berth. When we got to the bus that houses the crane, I saw that it still wasn't calibrated right, and was unable to drop any prizes off in the bin, but figured it was more of a problem to walk him through that disastrous conclusion than it would be to just spend the dollar and not win.
We lost.
We walked at a normal pace after that, being harassed by Girl Scouts several times and stopping in a few stores to see if we could find a birthday present for daddy. No such luck, but he did find a few presents he though would be great for him. No such luck on that front either, though his efforts were quite spectacular. Some of the explanations as to why he should get them were even close to valid. After lapping the mall again, we started to get tired and headed back toward the entrance we came in at. We had stopped in one store where they were playing their music too loud for Johnny to handle and he had covered his ears and yelled for me to take him out, so we began singing our own songs at an inappropriately loud volume. This is something he often does to compensate when he has had a sensory overload experience. Quite frankly, it is also something that he does at random for no reason other than because he is three years old, and three year olds sing very loudly at times. Today this was not the case, but so what if it was? We were back to Pop Goes the Weasel most of the time, inserting outrageous combinations to create what would in truth be hilarious scenarios. It was just as we rounded the corner and came in sight of the doors that exhaustion entirely overcame him. Johnny sat down, dramatically tumbling down to his spot on the floor.
So I sat down. He started to giggle. Actually, so did an elderly couple sitting on a bench nearby. I was quite thankful that I was wearing a skirt that reached to my ankles, but other than that I didn't mind in the least. I asked him what was up, and he told me that he was just too tired to go any further. We had talked about the fact that we were going home to take a nap, and he told me that if he sat there long enough he would be rested and not need to go to sleep when we got home. I told him that would only work if we took a long nap right there on the floor. He looked at me like I was nuts, but I wasn't going to give up on a nap at home, so I made my point by laying down. He giggled and laid the whole way down too. That is when he noticed the skylight.
I think we laid there for a good 10 minutes. Johnny was convinced that the "window builders" had messed up and put it in the wrong place. He is currently of the opinion that no adults know how to do their jobs, because he also saw some guys cutting down a tree while we were parked at the gas station earlier, and he told me he was going to have to go back on Tuesday (?) and get all the pieces and put it back together. "They are supposed to help fix the trees, not hurt them. They are the bad guys!" And now the builders were putting windows in the ceiling? Crazy adults!
When we finally sat back up, he insisted he was still too tired to walk to the door. Instead he decided to scoot. To me, this takes more energy. To a three year old, this is avoiding walking while simultaneously remaining dramatic. He scooted on his butt for an entire corridor through the mall, stopping only once to shout out, "I NEED A TISSUE!" as his nose started to run. I didn't actually have any, so I thrust out my coat sleeve and dragged it under his nose. He laughed at me and I told him I would throw the jacket in the wash as soon as we got home and that he isn't allowed to do that with his own clothes unless it is an emergency and there are no tissues anywhere. His sensory processing issues would have kept us from doing anything until the snot problem was fixed, and it would have caused a complete meltdown. I'd rather just gross up my jacket.
He made me hold open the first set of double doors so that he could scoot the whole way through to the outer doors. When he finally got there, he stood up and gave me a high-five. We held hands in the parking lot so that he didn't fall, and got buckled in. He didn't say a single word on the ride home.
I had 7 missed calls. I'm so glad I forgot my phone at home.
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